Friday Fictioneers – 5/24/13

Posted: May 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

Submit a poem or short story of 100 words or less, inspired by a weekly photo in this fun, flash fiction group. You can read submissions or add your work HERE, or click on the little blue guy at the bottom. Writing tips, typo alerts and comments welcome, as long as they are respectful and helpful, not hateful.

Category: Drama

Words: 95

Rating: ?

danny-bowmanCopyright – Danny Bowman

Bursting out the door she searched for her lighter, the hospital was bad enough, but enduring it without smokes was akin to torture. Leaning into the wall she inhaled, noticing the payphone.

That scarred blast from the past captured her emotional turmoil. It was her childhood, no longer relevant, yet not forgotten. It was broken and abused, yet it stood, scars and all. She wanted that strength. Flinging the butt to the ground, she returned to her father’s room, perhaps forgiveness would be the first step.

  1. Jan Brown says:

    Very impactful. The phrase, “no longer relevant, but not forgotten” applies to so much of the baggage that weighs us down unnecessarily. Very well done.

  2. I liked your metaphor of the phone as her life but I have to admit I laughed when she flung her butt to the floor. While I know it was the cigarette butt, my mind’s eye saw her throwing herself on the floor. Maybe “flinging the butt” instead of “her butt?” Butt whichever. 🙂


  3. Dear Turnip,
    I love the way you layered this story. A lot going on, I think, than initially meets the eye.

  4. I also had to read that twice about the butt flinging to the floor. A tantrum, I thought, then realized.

  5. Forgiveness is the first step, she is fortunate to realize that.

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