Friday Fictioneers – 11/30/12

Posted: November 29, 2012 in Fiction, happiness, short stories, Support, Uncategorized, Women, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Every week, writers around the world participate in a group that has come to be known as “The Friday Fictioneers.”  Every Wednesday Rochelle Wissof-Fields posts a different photo to inspire our creative juices. You can write and submit your own, 100 word story or simply read the admissions. Writers give, and receive constructive criticism to better their craft.  Click HERE to read, comment or submit.

Warm tears mingled with frigid air as  she strolled beneath the holiday lights, grieving the death of a relationship. Vince had been kind, understanding and caring, often knowing what she needed before she did. But lately, he had been secretive, whispering into the phone, or disappearing with no explanation. It had to be another woman?

When someone jumped from a doorway, she screamed as the shadow shoved a box toward her face.

“I love you May, Marry me.”

The sparkling diamond explained the hang up calls from a number she had traced to a local jeweler named Becky.

“YES!” she shouted, falling to her knees.

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Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    You old romantic, you! Nice feel-good take on the prompt. Well done.

  2. Ahhhh, another happy ending! Very seasonal. I think Vince needs a bit of coaching on how to not scare his hopefully-fiance-to-be out of her wits, but at least he wasn’t ending the relationship. The only thing I found confusing was the reference to Becky. Not quite sure how she fit it, only that she must have been someone May suspected of being Vince’s new interest.

    If you want to be grammatically correct, instead of “they” (“she screamed as they shoved”), just change it to “he”.

  3. boomiebol says:

    Ahhh…sweet!!! Love surprises like this…very well done. Warmed my heart brightly

  4. Enjoyed your story but being scared half to death on a bitter cold street is not my idea of a romantic proposal. Couldn’t he afford a lovely quiet, romantic. candlelit dinner?

  5. Awww! What a wonderful surprise.

  6. mari wells says:

    That went in a totally different direction that I was expecting. Great story.

  7. Obviously Vince is not only kind and understanding but a bit of a drama king as well. Thanks for the smiles, Turnip.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  8. I was expecting something different too. Loved the ending.

  9. rich says:

    “explaining Becky.” who is becky?

  10. Hi Turnip,
    This had all the pathos of The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. And a magical happy ending that story didn’t have! Ron

    • Thanks Ron. I wanted to start with a feeling of loss and end with a feeling of riches not counted in a bank book. I just took a non-traditional path to the end. If it were me I would have punched him in the nose for the scare before accepting the proposal. LOL.

  11. Aw! How nice to have a warmhearted twist ending. Good one!

  12. Russell says:

    Why are you women always so suspicious? You always fear the worst and don’t give us any credit. Hopefully, May will trust Vince a little more in the future. BTW – I figured out who Becky was right off the bat. However, instead of falling to her knows why doesn’t she throw her arms around him?

    • Now, now, you can’t confuse me with a character lol. I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to. But I have known women like this character. I felt dropping to her knees represented the toll the scare took on her, her legs buckling with relief. But you have me thinking.

  13. brudberg says:

    A after reading all brutality a heartwarming romantic tale almost took me into Christmas mode.

  14. JKBradley says:

    My taste are usually away from the happy ending, unless, well never mind that train of thought. One thing, should there be a ‘?’ at the end of ‘It had to be another woman’. I read that to be a statement and not a query. I did enjoy the nervous emotion, too. Thanks.

  15. Oh, yay!! A happy ending. What a great story. Romance still exists.

  16. tedstrutz says:

    Fooled me… Sweet story… Nice set-up.

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